i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
