quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The power of my boobs compel you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
