She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i will never coherently bang her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize