"it" just moved
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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