Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
please come you make the beer taste better
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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