i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
