party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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