so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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