Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
