yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
