wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize