if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
