Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
