his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize