So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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