I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
