I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
