Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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