everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
