Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
