So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
