I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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