Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
