it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Your cock deserves a montage
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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