Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
