last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
