I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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