How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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