brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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