NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
