Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
