so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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