Just cropdusted the office
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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