Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
