i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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