one two three fourrrrnication!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
