it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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