can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
