capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
