Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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