Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
do nipples grow back?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
