Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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