Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
