i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
