doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
