I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
