In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize