just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
