Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I touched a dick in church today
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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