so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
