By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
