Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
