I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
