nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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