we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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