You don't have asthma, your pregnant
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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