a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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