capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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