It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
