Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
