dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
