Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
How's work?
Spinning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
