Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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