Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize