They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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