I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
