think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
