pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
