i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
