no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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