I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
