So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
