I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
