Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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