She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
