the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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